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I was re-watching Bakuman. for like the 4th time already and no, I'm not getting bored with it. Watching this series has always been making me think about how my current life is going. Whenever I look back on this series, it makes me look back on myself and what really is my aim right now. Am I doing something for it? OR am I just doing an all-talk-and-no-work at all?
One of the best part in Bakuman. is Mashiro's monologue at the start of the first episode:
After nine years of compulsory education, the adults ask incessantly, 'what high school do you want to go to?' and 'what dreams do you have for the future?'
I, Mashiro Moritaka, just answer with, 'I have no clue.' or 'I haven't decided yet.'.
It's 'normal' to aim for a better high school, university and company. That's how you live a 'normal' life. That's why I always go to school even though I'd rather game or stare at the computer all day - because I don't want to trouble my parents, because I don't want to be called a shut-in, and because I don't want to flip burgers when I grow up. That's why I'm just going to get a desk job and call it a day.
If I wanted to try climbing the corporate ladder, I'm already behind all the people with good grades. That ranking system is only going to be a continuation of school.
It's a bleak future. Just living is a pain in the ass.
This is my outlook on life after being a good kid for 14 years.
As obvious as it seems, here's my attempt to write an editorial (if that's what it's suppose to be called) - but I'm just using it as an excuse to write about myself. LOL. I'll just be sharing my thoughts anyway. I want to talk about what it's like thinking about the future (and miserably failing). I hate thinking about it and I fear having to think about it. Also, I'd want to talk about having dreams or goals and reaching for them (or at least attempting to).
Anyway, to Mashiro's monologue up there, I'd say it's well said. That's exactly my way of thinking before going to college (if you skipped it, I suggest you go read it, it's pretty interesting :3 - for me at least). In Mashiro's case, it's about selecting a high school since he's in middle school. We don't have middle school in here so it's more like we're thinking so much for college. Once I got into my senior year of high school, people started asking, "what major are you going to take?" and "which university are you going to?". Those are really annoying question so I decided on a whim.
Going through the first question, of course it's not entirely a random pick like closing my eyes and taking the major where my finger pointed to. I tried doing calculations and stuff. AND guess which major I took? I pushed myself so hard and tried having a little self-confidence on myself that I took up BS Computer Engineering. Of course I decided on other stuff as well (and they're completely unrelated to this major. LOL.) but I weigh things. I asked myself questions like, "will this major land me a high paying job?" or "will I have many choices out there once I graduate?" or many more stuff like that. Probably most people out there had made the same decision making and probably, it's not only me who had a really difficult time thinking about it. ~Oh and that second question? I raised the bar for myself even harder and pick one of the considered top schools in the country. Now look what happened to me?
As disappointed as I am with myself, the road I took was wrong. Not that I'm miserably failing at my major right now but I ended up not enjoying it at all. In a couple more terms, I'll be starting on with my thesis and I don't even have any idea what I'll do there. Now I'm looking at the future again and hoping that this time around I won't make a mistake… I've been going through with a few things I'd like to do in the future such as being a web designer, digital artist or even a local anime magazine writer - yeah, all of which are completely unrelated to my current major.
Going back to my question on the introductory part of this post, no I'm not entirely doing something for them. Why? Like what Mashiro said in episode1 of Bakuman., "Maybe because it's too much effort". Again, it was well said. Probably most of us out there wanted to do something big or amazing but too lazy to do something for it. But as what Takagi had replied to Mashiro, "It's better to start early! Everyone is just going aimlessly about their lives avoiding any decisions!". True to that. Doing nothing because I'm scared of making another mistake is probably one of the worst decisions I've made. Well the number one reason why most people is avoiding decisions is that we're all scared to make the wrong ones that sometimes, even I want someone to decide for me so I'll have someone to turn the blame to when it's the wrong decision. I know I'm just being cruel but it's true.
Being bounded by the fear of making mistakes is one of the worst things ever. It's like stopping yourself from growing. But here's another inspiring Akito Takagi quote, "I don't mind the regret if I fail in an attempt to achieve my dreams. What I don't want to regret is not chasing those dreams.". You get his point(:
Anyway, how do a Mashiro-minded person (LOL), such as me, make an attempt to reach something? OR make something happen? I present you Kawaguchi Taro's Three Major Requirements if You're Not a Genius:
- Self-confidence
- Effort
- Luck
You get the point of those three. Kawaguchi Taro may have been pertaining to writing manga when he said that but I've always believe that it's applicable to life itself(: and by the way, Kawaguchi Taro is Mashiro's uncle :D
Well my whole point for writing this is that I just wanted to share my thoughts about me thinking about the future, failing and setting another goal and make an attempt on actually reaching it. As a thanks for reading/viewing this post, here's a great song by the pillows.
I randomly remembered this song when I was writing this post and just had to share it. I was choosing between this original version or the cover done by the sketchbook. And for the record, I honestly like the sketchbook's cover than this. LOL. Anyway, here're some pretty good lines from the song:
kimi no yume ga kanau no wa
dareka no okage ja nai ze
kaze no tsuyoi hi wo erande hashitte kita
In translation:
if your dreams come true
it won't be because of anyone but yourself
you choose to run even on the days when the wind blows hard
