Go to college and find what you really want to do - Natsuiro Kiseki: 15-kaime no Natsuyasumi
Surprisingly that's what I exactly did when I went to college. At this point of my life, making such a decision made people question me why I made such a decision. Why only now when I only have one year to finish my current major? I hate answering that question. I hate being questioned to begin with. I make those decisions after thinking so much and there's no way they can pull me out of it.
In my last post of Aku no Hana I quickly went about coming across something in your life that will greatly change its course. Now let me blabber about one of my life's greatest twist. Of course for now it hasn't made my life anything so interesting but I'm pretty sure that a couple of months from now, I'll be facing this big change with mixed emotions of both fear and excitement.
Over the past four years, I was trying to finish my college major, Computer Engineering. It was something I chose myself but I lost interest and ever since my 2nd year in my university, I've been wishing to shift majors. It was only a couple of months ago when I was granted the opportunity to do so. At this point of my life is also when I found myself actually being encourage by the anime I've seen.
When my mother finally opened to me the choice of shifting majors, I was instantly filled with mixed emotions of whether going for it or not. It's true that it's something I've been wishing for but when it was finally possible to happen, I started getting cold feet. I started questioning the 'rightness' of this major for me. Aside from that, I was scared of leaving my comfort zone; the subjects I studies these past years and the people around me while I go through them. Probably the biggest hindrance for me in here was the deal of also transferring universities. It was a big choice for me. I had until the end of my last term (December) to fully make up my mind.
While working on projects, studying and taking my final exams, I continue to think of what's best for me. By the end of the term, I was still in confusion. I barely asked anyone for advice about it. Because they can talk all they want; give their own advices that are easier said than done when all the decision will solely fall down in my hands at the end. At the same time, I finished Lovely Complex whose final episode kind of hit me hard. In that final episode Otani told Risa, Don't worry about whether you're suited to it or not. Just decide that you like it and wanted to do it. Then draw forth your confidence and do it. Of course I didn't immediately had the reaction of nod-nod-I'll-do-that but rather I was more like hmmm that was interesting, that kind of hit me. I'll further think of what to do with that in mind. I'm not particularly good at anything. Heck I'm not even good at anything but I'm pretty sure that somehow along those lines, I'll be able to do something about it. Gotta remember self-confidence, hard work and luck, right?
Takagi from Bakuman. once said, I don't mind the regret if I fail in an attempt to achieve my dreams. What I don't want to regret is not chasing those dreams. At some point during my vacation, I came to the decision of actually transferring and shifting. It was a big decision that went through awfully a lot of thinking and re-thinking. It's a bit late to change courses in my life now (or maybe not really) but what I would always tell myself is that it's better that I choose something I would enjoy more despite the length it'll take rather than continue something I've lost interest to and regret not shifting once it's all over. I guess all it takes is a bit more courage(:
THE POINT IS anime has somehow influenced my life through their own little ways. Through those series I've seen, anime has been constantly encouraging me in life and continues to change me even just a little :D I guess that could also be the reason why I like slice of life and inspirational series so much(: